[This latest event brought forth a couple different ironies for Shinobu. One, she came from a profession where it was straight up stated that one assassin would have to kill another to obtain a ranked position. She should be used to this. She agreed to join the CDC, expecting this kind of anarchy, with the idea that she wouldn't get attached to anyone and merely work as long as she needed to obtain the vengeance Shinobu had sought for years before.
The last thing she expected was that the need for vengeance would be awakened again only months after getting what she came for in the first place. Was her life just going to be a perpetual cycle of vengeance? It was all so exhausting to think about.
After spending a considerable amount of time fighting and training, Shinobu is fortunately in her room when she wonders who's stopping by to visit. She's actually a little surprised when she sees Havoc outside, in the hall.
Even if she's not feeling at her best, Shinobu still notices that Havoc's not looking too good either. Even if she wasn't the most compassionate person around, she still took the job of looking after her unit seriously.]
Havoc? [Her brows furrow as she opens her door a little wider.] What's up? You wanna come inside or would you rather walk?
[Ducked her head, a slow bob of acknowledgement because she didn't know what else to do. But she did know the two women who were her team leads, knew they seemed at least to be competsnt, decent people. No matter what she felt about killing now, as she was now, she didn't have the gall to actually judge others for it when she made her decisions on who was a "decent" person.
When you killed thousands yourself, you sort of lost that right, Havoc figured.
Yet to be more human was to equally be more contrary, more hypocritical, and she finds herself stuck between two positions... And interested in the stances of the others on her team. Other Reds she could speak with but Kalis...]
[Shinobu's response is immediate; if anything, another distraction is welcome as a reprieve from the negative emotions swirling around in her head. Even at her worst moment, she needed to make sure her unit was okay. And she had at least had enough time to get her mind stable enough again.]
But yeah, a walk's fine. Just hang on a moment.
[Turning her head, she calls for Ares. Excitedly, it runs up to her. Shinobu taps a shoulder, which prompts it to climb up, nestling itself next to her neck. No one was around, so she wasn't about it leave it home alone.
Stepping out of her room, she nods over to Havoc.]
I'll let you lead the way.
[She doesn't ask what's on her mind just yet, as she wanted to make sure the other woman could get to a place she felt comfortable talking in.]
[Despite the tenseness of the situation, Havoc's expression softened slightly at the sight of the pet's behavior. When she'd first received hers, she'd been quite tempted to get rid of it, not wanting anything relying on her like that. The only thing that had convinced her to keep it was the fact that people found them cute.
She'd used hers simply as part of the act, part of looking "normal", used hers the same way abductors used puppies. To disarm, to attract victims. When your obeisance relied on drinking the blood of children, but you weren't allowed to just kill whomever you wanted...
You came up with ways to attract the more innocent among the crew.
But that was then, and since her emotions had come back, she'd gained an ability to appreciate the animals for their own sake. - Though that hadn't helped hers start liking her much after the business-like way she'd treated it before.]
Your pet's well-trained.
[Maybe just a comment, small-talk, but. She did start walking with a nod, shoulders hunched slightly, hands in her pockets- head slightly down. Not because of any shyness, but to potentially obscure the sight of her mouth moving.]
[Shinobu's first reaction to her own furball was annoyance, because she tried to keep her number of attachments low – it was just better for business, as an assassin. It didn't take her long to find it more tolerable, though when Dagger went out of his way to make sure it came in style, specifically telling Shinobu he specifically did it for her. With that kind of effort put in, it inspired her to actually try to make it a useful ally for herself.
While she had been harsh on it before, causing it to be more disobedient around strangers, it's seemingly shaped up since Dagger's disappearance. Maybe it somehow sensed her emotions and felt bad. Or maybe it responded to her idle affection toward it, as some sort of small consolation for herself.]
You should've seen it before, it was kind of an asshole.
[A brief smile passes, but it doesn't last long as she watches Havoc hunch over. While she couldn't say she knew the woman well, it didn't quite match up with her usual behavior – whatever she wanted to say must be important.]
Would you feel more comfortable somewhere louder or somewhere more private?
[Or rather, do you want to go in a more crowded area where there might be too many voices to focus on just one or somewhere that might not have as many people, but have more of a danger to be overheard?]
Mine's still a bit skittish. I'm working on it, though.
[Now that she cared how things worked out, anyway. She'd never had a pet, never wanted to as a Contractor... but she appreciated it now. In the days since the recovery of her emotional capacity it had been a companion at her bed, sneaking beneath sheets and providing a warm presence in the hours that crawled by, struggling to come to terms with guilt of a lifetime manifested in the space of a second.
She wondered if they really were a Macha species- or something else. She guessed now they might never know.]
I was thinking of going for a drink, actually.
[Said with a bit of a smile, because that was how it was, wasn't it? Somewhere a bit crowded, less change of picking out their voices from a group than quarters, than a hallway.]
Keep working at it, and it's gotta learn eventually. I've been taking mine to all of my training sessions, hoping it picks up something.
[And to its credit, it at least stayed in place and watched her. However, she was having more difficulty in trying to get it to control its growth power – it'd be pretty damned useful if she could have that at her beck and call – but it just wasn't meant to be, yet.
Glancing over at Havoc, Shinobu smiles back and turns when the next intersection comes up in the hallway to head toward the Lunar Club. More people seemed to favor that one, over the Solar version, so that's where Shinobu was going to go.]
Not a lot, but considering everything? I could use one.
[She didn't care if that was overheard. Anyone who had half of a mind and monitored her conversation with Armada would expect Shinobu to grieve over Dagger, it'd be more suspicious if she didn't.]
[Practice makes perfect? Havoc couldn't argue with that logic. After all, it was mostly true- natural talent notwithstanding. But the pets, even the drinking... it was just a shield at the moment. Distractions before the true point of her visit made itself openly known.]
I'm guessing... gin and tonic?
[She had very little confidence in an actual ability to guess what sort of alcohol people preferred. But it sounded like banter, like casual conversation, people going to blow off steam-
So she went with it, following the other woman's footsteps towards the club.]
[The truth was that she had no idea what kind of alcoholic drink she preferred. Up until the last couple of days, she'd drink maybe once or twice a year.]
Let's find out.
[Setting at a table far enough away from any groups of people, she waves for a Skelly to come take their order.]
I'm not as good at guessing people's preferences. Jack and Coke?
[Regardless, she orders a gin and tonic anyway. Might as well try it, right? Once the Skelly takes both of their orders, she'll turn back to Havoc as she places her chin on the palm of one of her hands.]
[Really, since regaining the ability to actually appreciate food and flavor for more than the nutritional benefits it brought to the body, Havoc hadn't encountered a single item she didn't like.
She went with Jack and Coke, then did her best relaxed act. It was pretty good, not perfect, but. One took the precautions one could.]
I just wanted to see what you thought about all this.
[What she gestured to was the club. What she meant was Honey. Dagger's death. The sudden evacuation.]
[Because honestly, there were some things that were so stupid, she wouldn't have any part of it.
Receiving her drink, Shinobu takes an initial whiff of it before warily sipping from the top. She winces a little from the bitterness of it, but doesn't seem that offended by the drink.]
I don't think most are too happy about the way things turned out. [Which really, was an understatement that Shinobu felt pretty comfortable with saying publicly.] I really liked Dagger, you know?
[She frowns, sighing, before taking a longer sip from her cup.] But as of now? It's not like there's a whole lot we can do. I've been warned to keep an eye on Kalis, to make sure no one tries to stage a coup.
[Granted, the hilarious thing was that she was actually the one most at risk than anyone, but perhaps that was why Warriorhead contacted her in the first place. However, even she knew she had to wait before taking any kind of action.]
For the record, I don't think I have to worry about you, but that's what I was told.
[Jack and Coke tastes a bit like she might have had it before- somewhere amidst the shuffle of years of memory she has yet to sort through. It wasn't bad, though- like everything she'd tasted since being able to actually care for things like flavor.
She nodded a bit over the drink- kind of potent. Not as strong as some she's managed in the past but. Coke was an interesting choice. (Who came up with that?)]
That seems to be a general feeling... which seems pretty natural when you're suddenly told a thing like that.
[Btw your instructor has been murdered, and his murderer is now your instructor. It was something she'd expect from Contractors, the rational way it was carried out and the death seemed to be accepted.
But the collateral damage...
She gave a short bark of a laugh at the comment, though.]
Well, I'm glad I don't seem like the rebellious type. I can understand why some might think Red inclined though.
[Took another sip of her drink, smiled, though it wasn't a smiling topic.]
[Staring at her drink forlornly, Shinobu simply lets that word hang in the air for a few seconds before taking a long sip. The drink was still bitter, but it at least eased the awkward silence a little.]
This just happened all so fast that it all just seems like a bad dream.
[Hell, at this point, she wished it was a bad dream. The reality of it all was hitting her hard, even if this wasn't the first time she lost someone she cared about considerably. Because of that much, she's at least able to keep a tougher expression.]
There's a couple I'm worried about, but we should all be keeping an eye on everyone else. We've gotta make sure that no one is gonna put the rest of us in danger.
[The drinks, more than anything, provided something for the space between words, thought out comments dredged out of brains and put in to the air, hopefully only to be heard by certain people.
She took a sip.
The problem was what constituted "stupid". Revenge for Dagger? Disobeying Honey? Protesting at all?
Exactly. In the position we're in now, it's not like rebelling would have much of an effect anyway.
[It was a reasonable thing to say anywhere aloud, but there was a damned good reason why Shinobu said the position they were in now – hopefully Havoc got the subtle hint that might not always be the case.]
Make sure no one does anything stupid and keep watch as good as we can. Even in this shakeup, we've gotta keep doing our job. Dagger would never forgive us if we started slacking off now.
[Watch everyone including Honey. While Shinobu was planning on working on finding weaknesses she could eventually exploit regardless of what happened, if Honey proved to be a threat to the crew, finding that kind of information might be needed sooner than the time she'd need to build herself up.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trust no blackglass, even your own
The last thing she expected was that the need for vengeance would be awakened again only months after getting what she came for in the first place. Was her life just going to be a perpetual cycle of vengeance? It was all so exhausting to think about.
After spending a considerable amount of time fighting and training, Shinobu is fortunately in her room when she wonders who's stopping by to visit. She's actually a little surprised when she sees Havoc outside, in the hall.
Even if she's not feeling at her best, Shinobu still notices that Havoc's not looking too good either. Even if she wasn't the most compassionate person around, she still took the job of looking after her unit seriously.]
Havoc? [Her brows furrow as she opens her door a little wider.] What's up? You wanna come inside or would you rather walk?
no subject
[Ducked her head, a slow bob of acknowledgement because she didn't know what else to do. But she did know the two women who were her team leads, knew they seemed at least to be competsnt, decent people. No matter what she felt about killing now, as she was now, she didn't have the gall to actually judge others for it when she made her decisions on who was a "decent" person.
When you killed thousands yourself, you sort of lost that right, Havoc figured.
Yet to be more human was to equally be more contrary, more hypocritical, and she finds herself stuck between two positions... And interested in the stances of the others on her team. Other Reds she could speak with but Kalis...]
If you don't mind a walk...
[Less easy to surveil someone moving.]
no subject
[Shinobu's response is immediate; if anything, another distraction is welcome as a reprieve from the negative emotions swirling around in her head. Even at her worst moment, she needed to make sure her unit was okay. And she had at least had enough time to get her mind stable enough again.]
But yeah, a walk's fine. Just hang on a moment.
[Turning her head, she calls for Ares. Excitedly, it runs up to her. Shinobu taps a shoulder, which prompts it to climb up, nestling itself next to her neck. No one was around, so she wasn't about it leave it home alone.
Stepping out of her room, she nods over to Havoc.]
I'll let you lead the way.
[She doesn't ask what's on her mind just yet, as she wanted to make sure the other woman could get to a place she felt comfortable talking in.]
no subject
She'd used hers simply as part of the act, part of looking "normal", used hers the same way abductors used puppies. To disarm, to attract victims. When your obeisance relied on drinking the blood of children, but you weren't allowed to just kill whomever you wanted...
You came up with ways to attract the more innocent among the crew.
But that was then, and since her emotions had come back, she'd gained an ability to appreciate the animals for their own sake. - Though that hadn't helped hers start liking her much after the business-like way she'd treated it before.]
Your pet's well-trained.
[Maybe just a comment, small-talk, but. She did start walking with a nod, shoulders hunched slightly, hands in her pockets- head slightly down. Not because of any shyness, but to potentially obscure the sight of her mouth moving.]
no subject
While she had been harsh on it before, causing it to be more disobedient around strangers, it's seemingly shaped up since Dagger's disappearance. Maybe it somehow sensed her emotions and felt bad. Or maybe it responded to her idle affection toward it, as some sort of small consolation for herself.]
You should've seen it before, it was kind of an asshole.
[A brief smile passes, but it doesn't last long as she watches Havoc hunch over. While she couldn't say she knew the woman well, it didn't quite match up with her usual behavior – whatever she wanted to say must be important.]
Would you feel more comfortable somewhere louder or somewhere more private?
[Or rather, do you want to go in a more crowded area where there might be too many voices to focus on just one or somewhere that might not have as many people, but have more of a danger to be overheard?]
no subject
[Now that she cared how things worked out, anyway. She'd never had a pet, never wanted to as a Contractor... but she appreciated it now. In the days since the recovery of her emotional capacity it had been a companion at her bed, sneaking beneath sheets and providing a warm presence in the hours that crawled by, struggling to come to terms with guilt of a lifetime manifested in the space of a second.
She wondered if they really were a Macha species- or something else. She guessed now they might never know.]
I was thinking of going for a drink, actually.
[Said with a bit of a smile, because that was how it was, wasn't it? Somewhere a bit crowded, less change of picking out their voices from a group than quarters, than a hallway.]
Drink much?
no subject
[And to its credit, it at least stayed in place and watched her. However, she was having more difficulty in trying to get it to control its growth power – it'd be pretty damned useful if she could have that at her beck and call – but it just wasn't meant to be, yet.
Glancing over at Havoc, Shinobu smiles back and turns when the next intersection comes up in the hallway to head toward the Lunar Club. More people seemed to favor that one, over the Solar version, so that's where Shinobu was going to go.]
Not a lot, but considering everything? I could use one.
[She didn't care if that was overheard. Anyone who had half of a mind and monitored her conversation with Armada would expect Shinobu to grieve over Dagger, it'd be more suspicious if she didn't.]
no subject
I'm guessing... gin and tonic?
[She had very little confidence in an actual ability to guess what sort of alcohol people preferred. But it sounded like banter, like casual conversation, people going to blow off steam-
So she went with it, following the other woman's footsteps towards the club.]
no subject
[The truth was that she had no idea what kind of alcoholic drink she preferred. Up until the last couple of days, she'd drink maybe once or twice a year.]
Let's find out.
[Setting at a table far enough away from any groups of people, she waves for a Skelly to come take their order.]
I'm not as good at guessing people's preferences. Jack and Coke?
[Regardless, she orders a gin and tonic anyway. Might as well try it, right? Once the Skelly takes both of their orders, she'll turn back to Havoc as she places her chin on the palm of one of her hands.]
So, what's up?
no subject
[Really, since regaining the ability to actually appreciate food and flavor for more than the nutritional benefits it brought to the body, Havoc hadn't encountered a single item she didn't like.
She went with Jack and Coke, then did her best relaxed act. It was pretty good, not perfect, but. One took the precautions one could.]
I just wanted to see what you thought about all this.
[What she gestured to was the club. What she meant was Honey. Dagger's death. The sudden evacuation.]
no subject
[Because honestly, there were some things that were so stupid, she wouldn't have any part of it.
Receiving her drink, Shinobu takes an initial whiff of it before warily sipping from the top. She winces a little from the bitterness of it, but doesn't seem that offended by the drink.]
I don't think most are too happy about the way things turned out. [Which really, was an understatement that Shinobu felt pretty comfortable with saying publicly.] I really liked Dagger, you know?
[She frowns, sighing, before taking a longer sip from her cup.] But as of now? It's not like there's a whole lot we can do. I've been warned to keep an eye on Kalis, to make sure no one tries to stage a coup.
[Granted, the hilarious thing was that she was actually the one most at risk than anyone, but perhaps that was why Warriorhead contacted her in the first place. However, even she knew she had to wait before taking any kind of action.]
For the record, I don't think I have to worry about you, but that's what I was told.
no subject
She nodded a bit over the drink- kind of potent. Not as strong as some she's managed in the past but. Coke was an interesting choice. (Who came up with that?)]
That seems to be a general feeling... which seems pretty natural when you're suddenly told a thing like that.
[Btw your instructor has been murdered, and his murderer is now your instructor. It was something she'd expect from Contractors, the rational way it was carried out and the death seemed to be accepted.
But the collateral damage...
She gave a short bark of a laugh at the comment, though.]
Well, I'm glad I don't seem like the rebellious type. I can understand why some might think Red inclined though.
[Took another sip of her drink, smiled, though it wasn't a smiling topic.]
no subject
[Staring at her drink forlornly, Shinobu simply lets that word hang in the air for a few seconds before taking a long sip. The drink was still bitter, but it at least eased the awkward silence a little.]
This just happened all so fast that it all just seems like a bad dream.
[Hell, at this point, she wished it was a bad dream. The reality of it all was hitting her hard, even if this wasn't the first time she lost someone she cared about considerably. Because of that much, she's at least able to keep a tougher expression.]
There's a couple I'm worried about, but we should all be keeping an eye on everyone else. We've gotta make sure that no one is gonna put the rest of us in danger.
no subject
[The drinks, more than anything, provided something for the space between words, thought out comments dredged out of brains and put in to the air, hopefully only to be heard by certain people.
She took a sip.
The problem was what constituted "stupid". Revenge for Dagger? Disobeying Honey? Protesting at all?
It was hard to tell with the CDC.]
no subject
[It was a reasonable thing to say anywhere aloud, but there was a damned good reason why Shinobu said the position they were in now – hopefully Havoc got the subtle hint that might not always be the case.]
Make sure no one does anything stupid and keep watch as good as we can. Even in this shakeup, we've gotta keep doing our job. Dagger would never forgive us if we started slacking off now.
[Watch everyone including Honey. While Shinobu was planning on working on finding weaknesses she could eventually exploit regardless of what happened, if Honey proved to be a threat to the crew, finding that kind of information might be needed sooner than the time she'd need to build herself up.]